Grace said....

"It feels like the money, at least, should make you think you're worth something to someone and sometimes it does and sometimes it doesn't." -Grace Undressed

feels so true.

2/21/09

when the days all start to feel like the same, when i need to escape the club after only 5 hours, when i find myself alienated from everyone outside the world of the club, when i don't even have the drive to write on here, i know i've reached severe burnout mode. every few months this happens, usually when i schedule myself for 6 days a week. my stage shows, my fake voice and personality, my kindness towards people i would never give time to outside the club seem second nature, monotonous, like i'm going through the motions but i'm not really there. these are the times when i barely can drag myself from my little seat in the dressing room, hunched over smoking cigarette after cigarette, mumbling responses to the other dancers when they talk to me or ask to borrow something.


next month, it won't be this way. things will start to get busier, i scheduled a few fridays off as well as my usual wednesdays. i'll feel like writing again and people will have some words to keep them occupied. (promises, promises haha)

It's happened again

I managed to get sick AGAIN. This time, with some crazy respiratory flu that also attacked my legs, needless to say I barely worked at all this week. I managed to get out of bed for work on thursday, nearly died, made 60 bucks and went home really early. It didn't help that our only customers were a fraternity, and the kids had no money and weren't tipping. They had a certain number of lap dances they had pre-paid (????) before coming to the club and I got some little college freshman under me. It was kinda cute. I also danced for some crazy Haitian man who kept trying to touch me inappropriately and kept yelling at me to "spread that pussy for me". So it was off of work again Friday and last night I went in for three hours before I crashed out. But last night was awesome. I made a sufficent amount of money in three hours because there was a party that just kept throwing stacks and stacks of dollar bills on me. I got to work their VIP room which was VERY lucrative. And i didnt even have to do one dance. If I had I fear I would have been coughing all over the gentleman. And just as a reminder TIP YOUR FUCKING DANCERS. I should not be making ALL of my money off of one party. If you think you're too cute to tip, sit away from my vagina, thanks.