Sunday, August 30, 2009
Don't box me in
It is difficult to keep and maintain relationships with this job. This is the third time someone has left me because they don't like or can't handle what I do for a living...not counting guys that used me for sex and money and wouldn't even introduce me to their friends unless it was to shame me. They don't seem to understand that my occupation is not at all who I am as a human being. Sure, I love my job. I love entertaining people and making them feel good and happy. However think about this, you're an IT guy, or an unemployed writer, or a bouncer at a night club or you work some office job...that is just your JOB, it does not define YOU as a HUMAN BEING. For sex workers, it seems that society sees the opposite. We get little to no respect because our culture puts us in a sub-human category. I feel as though we are designated to JUST being strippers, hookers, dommes, porn stars, etc., when there is so much more to us than that. Some of us are well educated, nurses, writers, artists, entrepreneurs. Some of us are sex workers because in some ways, it is an intelligent choice- we can make enough money to support ourselves while working on our creative endeavors, or make extra money while going to school or working "legitimate" jobs. Over the last week, I've been dumped because of my job (I do not sleep with customers, and I no longer do girl-girl sex shows), and have also been told by an ex-lover that he is basically ashamed of me because of my job as a dancer. Open your minds. There's more to us than our jobs and bodies. Most of us have intelligence and emotions as well.
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3 so tell me what you REALLY think:
That really sucks. I presume your new ex knew your occupation going into the relationship; if so, he probably thought it was cool at first ("i'm dating a stipper!") but it sounds like his own insecurities set in, especially when it might have been apparent you were making much more money than he was. A scenario played out all too often.
Wishing you the best, and hoping you don't let setbacks in your personal life affect the short-and long-term goals you have set for yourself.
Yeah, I've seen this shit a lot. I was really super lucky to start dancing when I was already in a stable, long-term relationship. I don't know if I could start dating someone while I was dancing. I would just be too paranoid about the other persons hang-up or preconceived notions.
There are some decent guys out there though. Good luck finding one ^_^
It seems the old "you are what you do" point of view is more widespread than I thought. I've seen it myself in my working life (Government worker). The risk is that you start gradually narrowing your social spectrum down to a point that only includes those related to your line of work. This kind of social stagnation slowly drowns the soul. Call it "waterbordom" for lack of a better term.
Be good at what you do and be proud of it. Travel in any social circles you choose and to hell with those too weak to handle it. You not only don't need em' but they're taking up space that could be better occupied by someone more secure and open minded.
By the way; I love your work on "Popporn!" The other girls pale in comparison.
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