finally

Yesterday, I got it together and finally purchased a new wireless router so the whole house can use their laptops and a desktop computer, which currently is residing on the floor since I didn't have the chance to actually get a desk yet. So I am re-computerized and don't have an excuse for not writing. I've been doing pretty fabulous at work- one customer said I have the "Elvis Sparkle" which apparently means I light up the room and turn everyone's heads when I walk in. But with success at work comes the pain in my limbs, sore thighs I can't seem to work out and aching arms. I am frustrated by my incapacity to listen to others as much as I used to. I give so much while I'm at the club that by the time I come home, I just want to tend to my own emotional and physical state. I can never understand those stories about strippers who go out after work and party till dawn. By 4am I'm ready to crash out. It wasn't always this way. When I worked at The Dolphin, I was ready for anything when the shift was over. But there I was never required to give quite so much of myself to make a dime. I am haunted even more by my demons when I'm alone now, as tired as I am when I get home I can't fall asleep or dream lucidly because I can't stop worrying for the 20 minutes it would take me to fall asleep. There are good things though- I spend my days off with a great new guy, and I am able to afford things such as a brand new computer.