omgz

so i used to be really really afraid of zombies. i would have nightmares and would plan for fighting them off when it came time. and then i watched jericho on netflix. now i am totally convinced there will be a nuclear holocaust and i have nightmares about that. and i make deals with myself like "if you're at your house, you're fucked immediately. bam, you're dead on impact. if you're at the bf's house, you have some chance of survival because it isn't as close to center city. and on and on. then i come up with lists in my head of what countries are most likely to attack us. it's really neurotic but i can't seem to stop. my anxiety gets so bad some times it's like a bad acid trip up there. and i don't even have schizophrenia.

on another note, i have had the week off due to a really awesome kidney infection and tonight i went to my first show since last year. lady soveriegn was at my church (she's a rapper, lots of people play my church, it's not some christian thing) and i really liked the first ep and public warning so i was really excited about going. but what really bummed me out was she mostly played songs from her new album (which is geared towards 14 year old girls who enjoy the new "emo", like metro station, not the "emo", like i hate myself and all the shit i listened to in high school) and they really sucked. on a more positive note, she's really hot, seems to like girls, touches her tits through the whole show, stared at my tits and threw her beer on them and is still a great mc. i would totally be her gf.