apologies

I never meant to just stop writing this blog. Recently, however, the club has been the center of a lot of drama, catfighting and watching some of the girls I am closest to there fall into some very bad habits. I wanted to wait to write until all of it was over, because I didn't want to express that side of the world I live in. At the club, I pretty much keep to myself and do my job, save for a few girls, a couple bouncers and the club GM. Now it seems whenever I step foot in the place I hear "so and so told me this, so and so wrote this on the internet about you, this girl..." and so on and so forth. One of the reasons I work at the club I work and why I've been there for so long when I know I could go to another state or a bigger city is because the girls got along consistently, aside from a few minor incidents, which I was never involved in. It is possible that the reason for such pettiness is the economy. Another possible reason girls are now involving me in their bullshit is because I'm making more money, I've fashioned myself to look more like a "stripper" (long blonde hair, whitened teeth, acrylics in french manicure, pedicured toes, new shoes, new outfits) and they feel threatened. Whatever the case may be, it just made me terribly uncomfortable to write about, because I don't want to become one of those girls.


Another thing that has really brought me down recently is that it seems the more our country falls into economic crisis, the more I become a verbal punching bag for all the sexual insults or nasty things people want to do to me. They also now seem to think I'm just as hard up for cash and they can touch me inappropriately (I'm LESS hard up for cash than I've ever been and no, they can't). In fact, I got so angry with a man one night that I slapped him in the face then grabbed his face and shook it around like you would do to a little kid and said "No you may not touch my pussy, hooking is not in my fucking job description, darling." I've had more creepy guys come 2 minutes into me giving a plain old regular couchdance than ever. That's disgusting. If you know you came to the club looking to bust a nut slap a fucking condom on so I don't have to sit in the back, face red from anger twisted from trying not to scream or cry or puke scrubbing your bodily fluids off of my ass with baby wipes and alcohol prep pads.


I really just want to have positive things to say about the club and stripping but my morale has become pretty deteriorated over the last month. I'll be trying.